Words borne of broken lips

Eh. Something I wrote tonight. =/

Hand in hand
Fate ambles with night
Mistakes amble with justice
Hope ambles with fright.

Step after step
I follow behind
I follow perfection
You follow blind.

Inch by inch
I fall further down
Supress you
I drag you down.

Minute by minute
You drift away
Fall from me
To a brighter day.

Tear by tear
I fall apart.
Fall into chaos
Fall too far.

Word by word
I destroy your countenance
Destroy your hope
Destroy our friendship.

Stab by stab
I love you anyway
Love though I don't show it
Love through the pain.

Day by day
I watch life change
Watch you move on
Watch everything rearrange.

Prayer by prayer
I hope for breakthrough.
Desperation it seems
to show you the truth.

wow, this is incredible... you wrote this... it's really good, and so many people could relate to this, i know that i sure can... you should post more, your very talented.

Thanks... I wrote it in like five minutes after I screwed up my best friend's life..


I am ignored. I am alone, I am ignored. I approached him today. I stood right in front of him as he stared at the girl in his arms. It hurt more than you could possibly imagine. But I stood there. And watched. Tried to get his attention, and it was a few minutes before he aknowledged me.

When he did, all I said was, "Can you please tell me why you're ignoring me?"

His response: "I'll text you later if you want."

I said okay and walked away, sobbing uncontrollably. I changed eyeliners today, by the way. So black streaks ran completely down my face. It was pretty gross looking. And right in the middle of the cafeteria. Again.

But anyway, he did text me.

Him: "hi."

Me: "hey."

Him: "how are you?"

Me: "I'm okay I guess. You?"

Him: "Fairly well."

Me: "If you don't want to talk to me, you don't have to. I just want to know what's going on."

And a few minutes later: ""Or at least to be informed ig you're dropping me."

..No response..


He has ignored me for two days now. And I can't stand it. He won't even tell me what's wrong. Won't tell me what I did. Just... No response, no matter what I say. And it hurts. So badly.

I'm too stressed out anyway. Things at Hayley's this weekend were great. Her parents wanted so badly for me to move in with them instead of going to Florida. But of course I'm back home now, still destined to be exiled in Florida this summer. It's so stressful. I try so hard to get out of it, but nothing works. My parents are determined to have me go. And I'm determined to stay. The stress is messing me up.... *sigh* And I want that stupid guy out of my head. Right now. But of course my cell phone is sitting on my lap waiting for a reply once again.

that's sad...... it makes me cry i hope that things get better for you.

I'm so, sorry sis. I wish I could help.
I do know how you feel though to a point. That probably doesn't help any though.

*sigh* Thank you guys.

He treats me like crap most of the time... But I just can't let go of him anyway. I don't understand why you'd want someone like that around. But he's all I ever think about, and I just can't let go. It's not healthy.
I just want his friendship, but lately he's denied me even that. He's been ignoring me and treating me so badly.. I asked him last night if he no longer wanted me around, and he said he thoroughly enjoys my company. So I can't walk away. It makes me so mad. It's just not fair. This is why I never date. This is why I never should. It only messes things up.
Heh... This is also why you should never date anyone attractive or capable of getting a date other than you. Because they'll just turn around and leave. UGH! *screams*

in a way i kind of know how you feel.. he'll either leave, or he'll loose interest in you and pursue someone else while you are dating... i've had that happen to me.. ... dating in my oppinion is rather pointless, and kind of painful... it seems like that guy is holding you on a string, that's painful. i hate when guys do that.. you can't leave because it would hurt to leave, and you can't stay because it is painfull.. blah.... anyway i hope that things work out for you...

Lol.... That's exactly what my friendship with this guy has felt like for months.

ouch, i feel your pain.... i eventually cut my string, but the residue from his prescence is still there..blek.. it's very annoying, but so much better than hanging on the string and wishing we would go somewhere with our relationship..

Revelation Song

"Worthy is the Lamb Who was slain
Holy, holy is He
Sing a new song to Him Who sits on Heaven's mercy seat

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty
Who was and is and is to come
With all creation I sing praise to the King of kings
You are my everything, and I will adore You

Clothed in rainbows of living color
Flashes of lightning, rolls of thunder
Blessing and honor, strength and glory and power be
To You, the only wise King


Filled with wonder, awestruck wonder
At the mention of Your Name
Jesus, Your Name is power, breath and living water, such a marvelous mystery, yeah

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty
Who was and is and is to come
With all creation I sing praise to the King of kings
You are my everything, and I will adore You."

That has to be one of my absolute favorite songs ever. It's just.. So amazing to think about.

i can see why the lyrics are so beautiful...

Free
By Ginny Owens

Turning molehills into mountains,
Making big deals out of small ones,
Bearing gifts as if they're burdens,
This is how it's been.
Fear of coming out of my shell,
Too many things I can't do too well,
Afraid I'll try real hard and I'll fail -
This is how it's been.
Till the day you pounded on my heart's door,
And you shouted joyfully,
"You're not a slave anymore"

You're free to dance-
Forget about your two left feet
And you're free to sing-
Even joyful noise is music to me
and you're free to love,
Cause I've given you My love,
and it's made you free
Free

My mind finds hard to believe
That You'd become humanity
and changed the course of history,
Because You loved me so.
And my heart cannot understand
Why You'd accept me as I am,
But You say You've always had a plan,
And that's all I need to know.
So when I am consumed by what the world will say,
It's then You're singing to me,
As you remove my chains

You're free to dance-
Forget about your two left feet
And you're free to sing-
Even joyful noise is music to me
and you're free to love,
Cause I've given you My love,
and it's made you free,

Free from worry, free from envy and denial
Free to live, free to give, free to smile

You're free to dance-
Forget about your two left feet
And you're free to sing-
Even joyful noise is music to me
and you're free to love,
Cause I've given you My love,
and it's made you free
I've given you My love,
and it's made you free
I have set you free

I feel like this song is quite appropriate for today..... >.>

Mood Rings
Relient K

We all know the girls that i am talking about
Well they are time bombs and they are ticking
And the only question's when they'll blow up
And they'll blow up
We know that without a doubt
Cause they're those girls,
Yeah, you know those girls that let their emotions get the best of them
And i've contrived some sort of a plan to help my fellow man


Let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings
So we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off
Cause we'll know just what they're thinking, just what they're thinking

[Chorus]
She's so pretty but she doesnt always act that way
Her mood's swinging on the swing set almost everyday
She said to me that she's so happy its depressing(stressed out that its soothing)
And all I said was someone get that girl a mood ring

If its drama you want then look no further
Theyre like the real world meets boy meets world meets days of our lives
And it just kills me how they get away with murder
They'll anger you then bat their eyes
Those pretty eyes that watch you sympathize


And i've contrived some sort of a plan to help my fellow man
Let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings
So we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off
Cause we'll know just what they're thinking, just what they're thinking



Cause when its black it means watch your back because you're probably
The last person in the world right now she wants to see
And when its blue it means that you should call her up immediately
And ask her out because she'll most likely agree
And when its green it simply means that she is really stressed
And when its clear it means shes completely emotionless(and thats alright i must confess)

We all know the girls that i am talking about
She liked you Wednesday but now its Friday and she has to wash her hair
And it just figures that we'll never figure them out
First she's jekyll and then she's hyde
At least she makes a lovely pair

Mood ring oh mood ring
Oh tell me will you bring
The key to unlock this mystery
Of girls and their emotions
Play it back in slow motion
So I may understand the complex infrastructure known as the female mind

Perhaps what I've done was wrong; perhaps I slashed a hole in the only life preserver I was going to get. Perhaps I threw away everything that would have made these horrible changes somewhat good for me. And perhaps... I don't care. It shouldn't surprise anyone. Most know I'd do anything for those I care about. So why is this any different? Perhaps this is the greatest sacrifice of my life. But at the same time, is it not a major gain? And I know I'll make it through this. I always do. Why would this time be any different? Don't think; just move. Life won't catch up to you this time, love. You're callous, cold, stone hard, empty. Things will not catch up to you this time. There will be no cruel crash of reality to suffocate your every waking attempt to stand. You're strong, love. You're strong and you have God. Alone and bleeding or perhaps the greatest of your desires granted to you with just the slightest tainting of darkness, this is how it is going to be, and you will stand beneath the pressure. You have no other choice, dear, so wake up, grow up, step up, wisen up, and shut up. No one wants to hear your petty cries.

*sings If I get up, I might fall back down again, so let's get up. Come on. If I get up I might fall back down again, but we get up anyway!* Gotta love Superchick lyrics.

So yeah.. I'm sad about leaving behind everyone I care about here, but life is really great right now and I can't wait to see what all God has in store for my life. It's all so amazing and I'm just so hopeful. It's great. I couldn't ask for a better feeling or life than what I have right now. There are so many blessings ahead of me! All of them, just RIGHT AT MY FINGERTIPS! I love it! Haha I don't really have anything significant to say right now. I'm pretty much just talking to talk. Why? Because I'm sitting in the middle of keyboarding class and there's absolutely nothing better to do.
Though I am texting a few people. =) That's always fun. Well, okay, I'm texting one for the moment. But I'll text Hayley as soon as I think it's late enough that she'll be awake! Lol! Hmm... *texts Warren, too* He could use some company. YAAYY!! Hahaha I am soooo bored.

*stops* heh.

So maybe it's just another mistake, and maybe I'm completely wrong. Sometimes I don't understand it. Sometimes I just don't know. But what if this time it's right? What if I'm right, and I let that go out of fear? I just don't know sometimes. I don't understand so many things. I want to be right this time; I want things to be okay. I don't want to make another mistake. But who am I kidding? Things won't be any different this time. They couldn't be. They never are... *sigh* I wish I just knew how to trust. And I wish I knew what's going through his head with all of this.

"His.." Ha. That's still so odd to me. The thought of a "him" after all that I've been through? That's practically suicide! But of course, leave it to me to pull my own trigger in the form of strong arms around me and a gentle laugh... *sigh*

and of course i empathize with you cause i know EXACTY what you are goin through.. i am yet again going through the same thing

So I gave the guy a chance. As of yesterday, we're officially dating. And yes, Des, the guy was Jared. I just didn't want to admit to it quite yet. Sorry I lied about it.. But eh, we'll see how things go, I guess.

CONGRATS just promise me you will be carefull ...cause Jared can be a well..... jerk sometimes... but i hope everything goes well!!

And its ok i knew you were lying i could see it in your eyes =] and the way you two were acting with each other.. i hope everything does go well

I miss you 1st per. buddy!! *Sniffle*

Des

What do you mean, if you don't mind my asking?

Thanks. Yeah, I guess it was pretty obvious..

I miss you too! How have you been lately?

of course i dont mind you asking...

Its just Jared has broken... several hearts.. and i dont know exactly how harsh they were but... im just telling you .. trying to protect ya sis! (and i do believe i just called you sis for the first time. congrats lol)

Oh. Well, I'm being careful. Thanks for the warning. =) Sweet I have a new sis. =P

Yep Yep you do =]]... I like somebody...

Is it the same somebody as before or a different one?

Well actually its a few people lol and i really cant date any of them without hurting someone... ugh. but one of them is Alexander... who would have thought right lol.